My Mundane and Miraculous Life

  • Home
  • Play
    • Babies
    • Toddlers
    • Preschool
    • Big Kids
    • Teens
  • Home-Schooling
    • Unit Studies: Activities and Book Lists
    • Math
    • Science
    • Language
      • Pre-Literacy
      • Reading
      • Writing
      • Speech
    • Music and Art
    • History
  • Sensory Processing
    • New to SPD? Start Here!
    • Home Therapy Sensory Activities for SPD
    • General
    • Tactile
    • Proprioceptive
    • Vestibular
    • Oral
    • Fine Motor
  • Natural Homemaking
    • Toiletries and Cleaning
    • Reusables
    • Food and Drink
    • Decor
    • Attachment Parenting
  • Heart to Heart
    • Marriage
    • Parenting
    • Faith
    • YOUR Heart
  • Shop
    • Shop
    • Affiliate Area
  • My Account
  • About Me and the Blog
    • Associates
    • Shop
    • Affiliate Area
  • Work with Me
    • Affiliate Area
  • Contact Me
    • Disclosure and Privacy Policy
    • Privacy Policy

The Attachment Parenting Ideal that I Just Couldn’t Swing

April 17, 2015 By Julie 1 Comment

When I was pregnant with our first born, I was super excited about the tenants of attachment parenting.

I loved how normal and instinctive everything was. It just made sense to me. There’s really nothing complicated about it, just going back to our roots and doing things naturally, the way our maternal instincts crave.

Attachment Parenting Struggles Co-Sleeping

But as most of you moms know, sometimes our rosy ideals don’t match reality.

 

 

In case you’re unfamiliar with attachment parenting, let me give you the extremely quick run through of what A.P. parents strive to do in the early years of a child’s life.

Birth Bonding: The time just after a baby is born is a key time to hormonally connect with the baby. That went great with my second birth, not so much with my first.

Belief in the Value of a Baby’s Cry: Instead of dismissing a baby’s cry as inconvenient or annoying, give the child the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to communicate a need in the only way they know how.

Breastfeeding: Kind of a given. Breastfeeding is the ideal and strongly encouraged, even into the toddler years.

Babywearing: Instead of placing a child in some sort of contraption where they are separated from natural interaction, baby’s are held close to their caregivers, often in slings or wraps.

Bedding Close to Baby: Being close to the baby at night aids in being attentive to the baby’s needs as well as giving easy access for breastfeeding.

Beware of Baby Trainers: Be cautious about forcing babies to sleep longer than they’re developmentally ready for.

Balance and Boundaries: Know your own limits as a parent and say no when necessary. I apparently didn’t get this memo. 

 

See! Nothing too crazy!

When Loopy was born, I was so starry-eyed about the kind of mom I would be. Well, reality came fast and it left me reeling. My sweet son was anything but sweet that first year of life. As his pediatrician put it, he was in the 99.99 percentile for fussiness. I quickly sunk into a life-threatening depression as my mothering aspirations disintegrated.

But that’s a whole other story (which you should probably read). As far as attachment parenting, I was still doing my darnedest to keep up.

Belief in the baby’s cry? Check!  

I was convinced he was trying to tell me he was dying or just reminding me what a terrible mom I was.

Breastfeeding? Check!

Of course I’m doing the only thing that makes him stop crying!

Babywearing? Check!

My arms would have detached from my body if I didn’t have a carrier. The kid will not let me put him down!

Bedding close to baby?

FAIL!

I tried, oh how I tried. But Loopy made sleeping so scarce. He was a loud sleeper. He was a wiggly sleeper. He could nurse in his sleep for hours on end. Oh, and he never actually slept.

I’m a crazy light sleeper. I struggle to fall asleep and I struggle to stay asleep. I’m one of those gals that sleeps with five pillows and can still think of a spot that could use just one more.

I was so nervous about keeping the co-sleeping situation safe. We didn’t sleep with blankets, I was constantly smoothing out wrinkles in our fitted sheets. Not the ideal setting for peaceful slumber.

After a couple days, I resigned myself to move Loopy out of our bed and into a pack-n-play at the foot of our bed.

I was a paranoid mother too. Every little sound from Loopy made my heart stop and I’d sit bolt upright, listening for his breathing. I was convinced he was about to die at any moment. (Another sign of the raging PPD.)

Eventually, I gave up.

We moved Loopy into his own room. Don’t worry, he woke up nearly every hour for months and months and months, just to let me know he was alright.

It was really hard on me. I knew that a baby’s breathing is aided in regulating by hearing their parents’ breath. I felt like I had failed Loopy and didn’t care about him any more. Writing this now, four years later, I feel ridiculous. But at the time, I was convinced.

I wanted to write this to give a virtual hug to any mom who is struggling to do it all. Do your best. And know that you won’t be able to live up to your own ideals. Remember that while you’re a huge part of your child’s life, you’re not the end all be all.

Pray. A LOT. God is the one that determines each breath we take. God is the one that made us and sustains us. And He is good.

I learned a TON from my first year post-partum. But again, that’s another story. 

This post is part of a HUGE series filled with tons of other bloggers tips and tricks to live a green, natural lifestyle. You’ve gotta check it out, especially since you can win some sweet products! 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

earth day blog hop

Want to learn the green life along with us? Subscribe to get an email with each new post.

Julie is a frazzled mom of three tornadoes. As a dorky second-generation homeschooler, she writes about learning and play, natural living, special needs parenting and matters of the heart. She serves an astounding God that radically saved her.

Follow My Mundane and Miraculous Life through social media!

Facebook Twitter Google+  

More from my site

  • A Homeschool Preschool Curriculum where Nature is the ClassroomA Homeschool Preschool Curriculum where Nature is the Classroom
  • How to Successfully Start the Habit of Family Read-Aloud TimesHow to Successfully Start the Habit of Family Read-Aloud Times
  • Rainbow Sensory BinRainbow Sensory Bin
  • Sidewalk PaintSidewalk Paint
  • Lego SoupLego Soup
  • Scientific Observation: Screw SortingScientific Observation: Screw Sorting

Trackbacks

  1. Natural Oral Care: A Journey says:
    March 3, 2017 at 9:44 pm

    […] As I started looking forward to parenting, I realized that we modern parents have over complicated so much. I searched for a more instinctive way of parenting and found that I liked most ideas about attachment parenting. […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Search The Blog

Follow

Copyright © 2023 · Web Hosting By RFE Hosting · Privacy Policy